Thursday, February 4, 2010

Day 6 284.4 lbs

9:00 AM

Well, I'm feeling pretty good this morning. I still didn't manage to sleep past 5 AM, so we'll see if I fall into a coma sometime this morning. However, I didn't take tryptophan before bed last night just so I could see if maybe somehow that was causing me to be so sleepy later in the morning. Still wish I could sleep more than 6 hours a night though. Hopefully that will come as my hormones balance out and as I develop the stamina to exercise more.

I was very pleased and surprised to see the scale drop another 2 lbs this morning. That makes almost 8 lbs this week. And it's ok with me that most of that is water weight. What it does mean though is that I can really and truely eat all that fat and not gain weight. I have to say it is hard to overrule the fear that has been instilled in me since the 80s that 'fat will make you fat' even though I know from all the reading I've done that that isn't the case.

I got up this morning and cooked up a pound of bacon and a pound of sausage that I got at Whole Foods yesterday, plus hard boiled 6 (free range) eggs. All in preparation for my hospice weekend that starts tomorrow when I won't have anytime to cook. (By the way, by the time I was done cooking, I wasn't really hungry so I ended up eating only one hard boiled egg, 1/2 sausage and 1/2 slice of bacon. Still very yummy though.)

It dawned on me while I was cooking, that bacon and sausage would make the perfect take along foods (or snacks). I thought of it because, last night, before bed, I got hungry and was really craving carbs and the glutamine only helped so much (because I was truely hungry, not just craving). But I didn't have any snacks made so I ended up eating 1/4 of a Luna Bar, which is still Primal but has more carbs in it than I've been eating. That was enough though and my hunger and cravings subsided. Then, this morning while I was cooking, I realized that I had also bought some ham at Whole Foods that I could have had for a snack last night if I had remembered it. Then that thought led me to realize that if ham can work as a snack, then so can bacon and sausage. (By the way, the bulk pork sausage from Whole Foods was really good. Quite different from typical grocery store sausage and the biggest surprise was how it didn't shrink at all despite having tons of visible fat in it. Can't figure that one out.) It makes sense though because Native Americans would carry pemmican with them which is simply fat and pounded meat. Plus bacon and sausage is a lot less time consuming to make than jerky and has more fat that jerky does.

Uh oh, I'm starting to feel sleepy. I guess waking up at 5 and then going back to sleep from 9 AM to 11 AM is going to be my pattern. Damn inconvenient. Wish I would just sleep the extra 2 hours at night and be done with it.

Anyway, I'm feeling a lot less stressed today. I've now figured out a go to meal if I don't have anything else made (a smoothie) and I've figured out take along/snack foods. That gives me some breathing space to find new recipes to try without feeling desperate. I have ingredients to make a meatloaf recipe I found over at Feed The Animal and if I get really ambitious, I may make Mary Eades mayonaise recipe today. (I have a hankerin for some deviled eggs. :-)

Oh, one last thing I keep meaning to mention. I have noticed that I can watch tv while eating this way and not obsess over the food commercials. Always on past diets I found it hard to watch tv because any food commercial would cause cravings like mad. It popped into my head one night that I was watching tv and I couldn't even remember if a food commercial had been shown (which of course it had to have been because they always do) but I had payed so little attention to them that I couldn't remember even one. I love this! This is freedom!

7 PM

Different kind of day today. (Although I did take a 2 hour nap as usual late morning.) I've been indulging in something I wanted to do all week, which was just spend time online reading the things I want to read instead of just looking for recipes to try. So consequently, I've spent the day reading Mike Eades archives. A perfect day.

However, I've grazed today instead of eating meals. Maybe it all started because I didn't eat much of a breakfast, because later, before the nap, I munched on another piece of bacon and another little bit of the Luna Bar from last night. After the nap I made a protein smoothie about 2 PM, then got hungry not long after and got another piece of bacon. Then about 4 PM I caved in and grabbed the whole bag so now I've eaten all but 2 slices of the pound I cooked this morning. (Which, by the way, was 9 slices to start.) All I know is I was so craving the fat on the bacon. I sifted through the bag looking for the pieces with the most fat. Oh, I also ate another of the hard boiled eggs. Yummm. Now, 2 hours later, I am so un-hungry it isn't even funny. Don't get that kind of feeling when I pig out on carbs!

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